This is a list of books that are about poly, or are books we feel are useful for those engaging in a polyamorous relationship. If you wish to submit a review of a book or suggest a book to add to the list, then please click on the link and e-mail in your suggestion. If you wish to make comments about any of the books listed, that feedback is also welcome.
The Ethical Slut
Dossie Easton, Catherine A. Liszt
This book is written from the view of pragmatic practitioners of the poly lifestyle. While many people seem to have a problem with the name of the book I would recommend looking past the cover before judging. Whether you end up liking this book in the end or not, I feel this is a "must read" book for anyone contemplating a polyamorous relationship.
Polyamory : The New Love Without Limits
Dr. Deborah M. Anapol
This book is one of the best known books in the poly community. Dr. Deborah Anapol has been a vocal and visible member of the poly community for a number of years, and this book has been the starting point for many new people contemplating polyamory for the first time.
This book has been around quite a while, and the prospective reader should be warned that the word "Polyfidelity" in this book does not have the currently accepted meaning. In this instance, the word "polyfidelity" is used with much the same meaning as we now use the word "polyamory". It should also be noted that at this point in time Amazon.com indicates that this book is unavailable due to the publisher being out of stock.
Passionate Marriage : Love, Sex, and Intimacy in Emotionally Committed Relationships
This book is another which is not specifically a book about polyamory. This book focusses on re-engaging couples who are dealing with many of the classic challenges of making a long-term relationship work. This is a superb book on relationships, and as such is a tremendous resource for the polyamorous.
Getting the Love You Want : A Guide for Couples
While this is not specifically a book on polyamory (note the use of the word "Couples" in the title), it is a superb book on general relationship issues. It covers issues found in many relationships, polyamorous or not. I can't possibly recommend this book strongly enough. It is superb.
The Good Marriage : How and Why Love Lasts
Judith S. Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee
Inspired by the hope that the experience of satisfied husbands and wives might provide useful lessons to others, Wallerstein, a clinical psychologist and specialist on divorce, and Sandra Blakeslee, who writes frequently for The New York Times, interviewed 50 predominantly middle-class, northern California couples who had been married nine years or more and had at least one child. These strong marriages flourish, they argue, because every partner confronted a series of psychological tasks including separating emotionally from the family of childhood, carving out his or her autonomy and creating an environment where anger and conflict could be safely vented. The couples reveal their interior lives in rich, explicit detail.
This book looks at issues of honesty in our dealings with ourself and with those around us. There are many who feel that Blanton's approach is too strong, and there seem to be equally many who love his blunt approach to honest communications. You'll have to decide for yourself into which camp you fall.